Thursday, March 18, 2010


After an experience I had at work today, I was going to write about how many people there are out there that deserve to be killed. But that seemed pretty grim. So I thought about it for a while, and I decided to look at the glass as half full instead. So I’m going to write about why I don’t kill people. Much more pleasant, don’t you think?

Why I don’t kill people:

1. Love – the love for my spousal unit and my furry critter keep me in line. They might not love me as much if I started murdering. Well, the cat probably would. Until I went to jail and could no longer provide a lap for her to shnooze upon. Then she’d get over me pretty quickly.

2. Cooking – I love to eat, therefore I love to cook. Food used to poison me. Thankfully, I have figured out what I can and cannot eat, and now food is again a joyous event. I have a blog dedicated to my exploits in the kitchen; you can read more at Li loves David.

3. Laughter – I was blessed with a sense of humor. Don’t roll your eyes; a lot of people are born without the humor gene. I know this to be true; I work with quite a few of them. My sense of humor helps me to see that absurd people should be mocked, not murdered. See more at OMG! I LOL’d.

4. Fiber Artistry – my obsession began with knitting. Then came crochet. Now I’m branching into recycling and upcycling fiber, and trying new techniques. You’ll be seeing a lot of that here in the future. I'm completely addicted. It’s gotten so bad that when I'm surfing the net, my spousal unit knows I'm looking at yarn porn.

5. Writing – oh, my gosh, I love to write. Almost as much as I love to eat. Then why, you ask, don’t I keep my blogs up to date? Why isn’t my novel published already, instead of wallowing in endless revisions? Well, writing takes concentration, and time. A lot of it. And these days, time is a precious commodity. I’m working on organizing and simplifying, and hopefully will free up some time soon. Then I’ll see you all at my book signing.

6. Exercise – yes, you read that correctly. Exercise. I never, ever thought I would become one of those people who live to work out. And yet, I’m becoming one of those people who lives to work out! Seriously! I even get up an hour earlier, just so I have the time to go to the gym. (See? There’s that time thing again.)

Anyhow, the above list is why I don’t kill people. But what does all this have to do with simplifying and conservation? Well, I don’t think jail would simplify my life. Going off to live in a tiny space, with no possessions, a limited wardrobe, nowhere to go, no expectations, nothing to do but exercise and write…

Um, wait a minute, that all sounds pretty simple. But they might not let me cook or have yarn in jail. And there's probably not a lot of humor to be found. I don't want to take that chance. I’ll stick with my non-murdering ways.

No comments: